Just Another Mountain

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Hey all, I’m so sorry for not posting in over a month and a half. I’ve been dealing with quite a bit lately.

For now, I’m back to posting for a while. I hope.

Today, I want to tell you that whatever you’re going through is just another mountain. Maybe you’re in the hospital and just had a life scare like a friend of mine. Maybe you’re depressed like I’ve been dealing with lately. Maybe you just had a breakup.

Whatever it is, it’s just another mountain you have to climb. You’ve climbed over many mountains before. I know sometimes it feels like this will be the mountain to do you in. Trust me on one thing: It won’t be. You can get through this. You can climb this mountain.

I’ve been dealing with a lot lately, like I said at the beginning of this post. I’ve had several mountains to climb. One after another kept coming at me. I felt like giving up several times. But you know what? I didn’t. I just shook off the feeling of giving up on the mountain that I’m currently climbing.

I’m not saying this to brag. I’m saying this to say that you can get past whatever you’re going through right now, too. Mountains aren’t easy to climb. It’s not even easy going back down. But once you get past it, you feel so much better for it.

You know that you made it.

There will always be mountains to climb. But you can get past it. I know you can.

Never Give Up

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It’s hard to not give up when it feels like the entire world is against us. Believe me, I know that feeling all too well.

It happens to the best of us. We have the really bad days, weeks, or even months. We can’t always be the happy person that we want to be. We get down and we want to give up. Sometimes, we feel like we can’t go on living because of it.

I want to tell you that that is just not true. You can go on living. You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. It’s hard to see sometimes, but you would be amazed at how strong you are if you really took time to look at yourself. I recently had to look at myself and remind myself of how strong I am… It was all too easy to focus on the negative.

Don’t give up. Some people actually care about you, and can tell you how strong you are or how important you are.

Recently, I had a friend that told me I was beautiful. I can’t see what he sees, but he tells me this all the time. I’ve often thought that he just tells me that so I have a little bit of positive influence in my life, but the important thing is, that he reminds me that there’s someone out there that cares. I keep going just because of him.

Never give up. Keep going. You’re more loved than you will ever know. I just know it.

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Love Shouldn’t Hurt

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We’ve all heard this before. Love shouldn’t hurt, but sometimes it does. Sometimes you have to ask yourself, why is that? I’ve found that answer to be simple: When it hurts, it isn’t love. It’s abuse.

I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t realize I was in an abusive relationship when it was happening. In fact, it took me a long time after it ended to realize it. It was a mentally abusive relationship, but there is one question that always comes to people’s minds when they hear me talk about it (which isn’t openly, mind you): How did you not realize it?

Well, let’s be honest here. I didn’t realize it because I thought that by pointing out every single flaw I had was just so he could help me get rid of those flaws and be better. He loved me, so he just wanted the best for me…right? Wrong. So wrong.

It’s not easy being in an abusive relationship. It’s even worse when you don’t realize it for years after. I don’t remember when I first realized that it was abusive, but it was at least a year after I made myself have the courage to leave him.

If you start noticing any red flags (s/he hits you, starts pointing out flaws, starts saying everything about you is wrong, doesn’t trust anything you say, is controlling), leave. It won’t be easy, but you have got to leave anyway. Love shouldn’t hurt. Love should be happy. Love isn’t always easy, but in a relationship, you should be able to trust the person that you’re with and know that at the end of the day, you are happy with that person.

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Knowing When to Step Back

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Hello all, I apologize for not posting last week. I was insanely busy.

A lot of us have a friend or family member that we’re concerned about. They just don’t always seem like themselves. Believe me when I say I know what that feels like. I know it’s not fun at all.

We have this instinct where we want to protect them from anything happening, and we tend to hover. We shouldn’t do this, guys. They will most likely run if you hover. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be concerned, but a lot of people run when they’re being hovered over. I know I do.

If you’re constantly checking up on them and wanting to know everything they’re thinking about, you’re hovering. It’s hard not to, I know. But sometimes, you just need to take a step back and let them figure things out. Give them a phone call or talk to them in person and let them know you care, but let them reach out when they’re ready. If you let them know you’re there for them, they’re more likely to reach out. But if you’re constantly asking them what’s going on, they’re more likely to shut down. You’re seen as having good intentions, but they feel like they’re trapped in a cage. I would know, I’ve been there done that.

So try to take a step back from hovering. Let that loved one know you care, but let them reach out at their own pace. Now, if you feel like they’re about to harm themselves, you should definitely get help for them. But if you have no reason to believe that they’re in immediate danger, let them come to you.

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Let It Go

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Hello, everyone. I’m finally back from vacation and back to posting. Hopefully, now I can post more regularly.

This week, I want to tell you that it’s okay to let things go. I’ve recently had that song from Frozen stuck in my head (thanks to my nieces being obsessed with it), but I really just started thinking about the words.

Maybe I’m totally reading into a kid song, but lines like, “That perfect girl is gone,” is so true. We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to give a showing of being perfect. The fact is, we’re never going to be perfect, and that’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes. That’s how the world is. But don’t get discouraged whenever you make one. It’s hard to learn how to not be so hard on yourself, but believe me when I say that it’s better if we don’t expect to be perfect.

There’s another line that says, “Let it go, can’t hold it back anymore.” Sometimes, we just can’t hold back the fact that we have problems. I’ve been facing a lot of family problems lately, and I generally try to hold that back. Sometimes, I can’t. Sometimes I just can’t seem to keep it away from people, and I tend to rant. I don’t like it, but it’s okay to do. If you need to rant, do so. Just make sure it’s to someone you can trust. I’m always here for you if you need to talk to somebody. Look at the contact page for information on how to find me.

There are so many more lines I could dissect from that song, but I’ll stop with just the two today. Listen to the song one more time. Maybe, just maybe, you will find encouragement in it.

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Let It Out

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I apologize for not posting yet again last week. It’s been crazy with trying to get ready for vacation. I will probably not be posting the next two weeks because of said vacation. I will be spending time with my family and will most likely not have a chance to post.

We all have a tendency to bottle up our feelings. I know. I’ve been there, too. We think nobody cares, or doesn’t really want to know how we really are. So what do we tell them when they ask? That’s right, I know the phrase. “I’m fine.”

The truth is, we’re not always fine. I’ve been bottling up my feelings on a lot of drama going around, and it’s been really eating at me the past few weeks. And a lot of times, things just go from bad to worse.

I took it out on someone last night. I felt bad about it, but I was letting my feelings out. I couldn’t take it anymore. My anger may have been misguided, but he was the unfortunate soul that had texted me.

The next step was amazing. I actually felt a lot better.

So, let your feelings out. Be honest with how you feel. Cry, scream, kick, do whatever you have to do to feel better. You’ll be okay. I know you will. Talk to someone you can trust.

It will take time, but you will feel so much better if you let your feelings out. I will always believe in you.

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Say Something

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I apologize for not posting the past couple weeks. Two weeks ago, I had a History exam, and last week I was sick. I’m glad to be back.

Earlier today, I heard about a family friend who’s dad hanged himself. I don’t know all the details, but…wow. What a shock to find that out.

I don’t know why he did. I don’t know if co-workers were giving him a hard time, if he really didn’t feel like he have anything to live for, or what. I wish I knew the reasons.

One very possible reason is that he felt like nobody cared. Isn’t that why a lot of people commit suicide? How sad is it that nobody shows how much they care until that person is gone?

I want that to change, starting right now. Talk to somebody that looks down. Talk to that person that’s alone at the lunch table. Tell them how much they’re worth, and that they always have a friend.

Whatever you do, don’t leave them alone if there are signs.

Signs are all over the place. Self-harming, depression, change in personality…there are a lot.

I have to say, though, it’s sad. A lot of times we tend to think that those signs are just the person looking for attention.

Well, maybe it is a call for attention.

Let me explain: Maybe it’s a call for attention because nobody pays attention to them. Nobody helps them when they need help. Everyone just turns their back.

So yes, maybe it is a call for attention. They want someone to pay attention to the signs.

Be a friend. Say something to make them want to stay.

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Make A Difference

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Before we begin, I would like you to take a look at this interactive map that I was required to look at for a class: http://www.worldlifeexpectancy.com/usa/top-15-causes-of-death

Suicide is on that list.

According to the map (and other sources I’ve seen before), suicide is one of the highest causes of death in the US. If that’s not discouraging, I don’t know what is.

Why do people commit or even attempt suicide? Well, there can be multiple reasons. Being made fun of, feeling like they don’t belong, not being able to live with trauma, and more. Much more.

Often times, we ignore the signs. We think people talking about suicide are just looking for attention, or just making a show.

It’s time to stop that way of thinking.

It’s time we started lifting each other up, instead of putting others down. What a difference that could make. People can get past feeling suicidal if they feel like they have a purpose in life. Wouldn’t that be great?

I’m not saying it will be easy. It won’t be. It will still be very hard, and some people aren’t easily convinced, especially if they’ve been told that nobody cares about them their entire life. Been there, done that. It’s not easy to get out of that way of thinking.

It may not be easy, but it’s also not impossible. If we start talking positively to one another instead of talking negatively, think about the difference that we can start to make. If we all work together, maybe one day, we can stop suicide once and for all.

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This Just Keeps Getting Worse

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This is ridiculous. Today, I read an article about a woman that was born because her mother was raped by her father. Her father also so happened to be the father of her mother.

When I read the article, I was appalled. I was thankful the mother decided to keep the baby, even though the doctors advised against it. She gave up everything…all to keep a child that came into the world in the worst way possible.

Am I saying that she shouldn’t have kept that child? No, of course not. The child she had wrote the article that I read today. If the mother hadn’t had the child, I never would have read about it.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t end there. That child’s father abused her as well. She also became pregnant, but that ended in a miscarriage. Then, when she was grown and her husband was away on business, she was raped by a neighbor, and she conceived a child by him, which also ended in a miscarriage.

To not only go through abuse, but to also go through a miscarriage four times — yes, four times — is awful beyond words.

The worst part is, if she hadn’t had the miscarriages, her father would have forced her to get an abortion.

These monsters have to be stopped. It seems they will stop at nothing to get what they want, no matter what. If they aren’t stopped, we won’t be spared the pain of either being abused or knowing someone that has been abused.

We have to stop them. If we work together, we can.

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The Duggar Girls

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We’ve all heard about what Josh Duggar has done by now. He abused his sisters over a decade ago.

Do I agree with what he did? No, of course not. But I have to wonder why it’s just now that it’s being brought to light.

I have to say, the media gets it wrong. While I agree that what Josh did was wrong, the media describes him as a pedophile, he was only 14 when he abused them. The law says you have to be 16 to be considered a pedophile. Sorry to break it to you, media, but your definition is screwed up.

Now, am I discounting what Josh did? No, I’m not. Having someone in the family that was abused as a young child, I know the pain of knowing that they’ll have to live with the terror the rest of their lives. But I have to wonder: why is the media making such a big deal out of it? How do the girls feel about that terrible time in their lives being brought to light?

I understand that they’re a very popular family, and I know that nothing in a famous family is ever private, but some things just shouldn’t be made a big deal out of unless they want you to. These young women are being forced to relive that terrible time in their lives that happened over a decade ago by the media making a big deal out of it.

Sexual abuse is wrong, no matter how you look at it, and I agree it must be put to a stop. But I also have to wonder: would it help if the media didn’t force the victim to live that time in their life over and over again?

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